Mindfulness · Photography

Birds Of Many Feathers

black swan
Angry bird?

I am not a birdwatcher, unless you count my childhood days of watching Big Bird, Tweety, Woody Woodpecker or Chilly Willy on TV. However, photography makes us look at the world around us in a more detailed way and that is why I consider it a powerful too for mindfulness. You become aware of many things that could have gone unnoticed if you were not purposefully looking for subjects.

I don’t specialize in bird Photography, but it is certainly a growing part of my portfolio. It all started with pelicans at the beach, and after I sold my first one, they started selling consistently, which made me pursue it more. Then came the seagulls, many Florida birds and even tropical species from Brazil – all made their way into my lenses.

bird images for sale
Clearwater Beach, Florida

I enjoy observing them before trying to get my shots. I feel weird even saying “shooting birds”, or any animal for that matter, so I’ll go with the standard term, photographing. Hypocritical, I know, as I am not a vegetarian, more like a quasi-vegetarian? The stubborn carnivore inside is finally content with a couple of servings of chicken or fish a week. Red meat once or twice a month… That’s the best I can do for now, and my mind’s defense mechanism (defending me from my guilt) dissociates animals as photography subjects from animals in meals. Not the case with macarons, as I mercilessly and shamelessly eat such subjects after shooting them.

Less about eating and back to photography. I use a bit faster shutter speed – 1/500 and above – for “still” birds in general, to make sure focus is sharp. But for birds in flight, go faster. 1/1000 at least. Like with any animal, including the human kind, sharp focus in the eyes are essential. If they are still, very still, you can go to slower speeds, but birds move a lot, even when they seem quiet. They turn their heads quickly and often, always aware of noises. They clean feathers, practice preening and are always looking for prey. Oh, and they sing.

You never know when they will take off. It is important though to allow yourself to observe them first, before worrying about the camera. Study their habits and understand their moves. That is a tip for pretty much any kind of action photography. Because yes, birds are always in action.

Most importantly, respect them and make sure to not disturb their environment. A good telephoto zoom lens like my 70-200 mm is always helpful in getting close without being too close. It’s general consensus that feeding wildlife can be harmful and even alter the ecosystem. I choose to not do it, even fish and birds. I prefer to be merely an observer, not a participant.

I keep my aperture small for decent depth of field, around f/8, and the bigger the bird… While editing, a bit of a touch up on texture and clarity usually makes a nice effect for enhancing their beautiful and unique patterns.

The constant advice is, experiment. Try, as a small weekend project, to photograph some birdies in your backyard, at the park or beach. Observe and practice without pressure. Feel free to make mistakes and do over. Free as a bird should be.


And a Happy New Year!

2019 was a bit challenging for me, health wise. I had many ailments that made me aware that my body is aging and in need of more care. When we’re young, we think we are invincible and nothing will happen to us – mainly because we “feel” invincible, as our bodies are newest model, state-of-the-art machines very well tuned and all parts are oiled and shiny. As we age, more maintenance is needed and the constant neglect starts taking its toll.

This year I realized that.

In 2020, I wish and make the resolution of doing a better job in the maintenance department, in the hopes that I can, if not reverse, at least slow the aging process with some awareness.

Mindfulness tells us to value the present. The past and its regrets are to be observed, used as a learning tool and let go as a free elderly bird once nested on our backyard tree. The future is a big question whose answers many times depend on the present living, and most times is simply unpredictable and uncontrollable as the arrival of a new bird, landing on our familiar, yet seasoned and inevitably changed tree.

However, we can still mindfully reminisce, as I am now spending the holidays in my native Rio with my 93 year-old-dad and talking about stories of the past. Also, we can plan – to a certain degree – the year that it is about to begin.

Fill your wishes with positivity, your heart with gratitude, your spirit with joy. May your 2020 be made of fully enjoyed 365 days, 8760 hours and 525600 minutes. I am wishing all of us health, mindful awareness, joy, hopes and actions, peace, love, empathy, compassion, self-care, thankfulness and resourcefulness. Of course, some times will feel better than others, but make them all count.

Carpe 2020!

Thanks for reading this post and all my words in 2019. Hope you stick around.




Rough Patches

When a rough patch tends to linger, does it become a field? Or an ocean, as the expression seems to be linked to the maritime world?

For some reason that I won’t seek anymore, sometimes we seem to endure more hardships than the usual average. I believe this is a personal measurement, according to what “usual” means to you.

However, the notion itself is more universal, not a personal feeling or observation, otherwise “when it rains, it pours” wouldn’t have been invented – and used. But is it really a weather issue?

Feather cloud

In my native Brazil, the expression “the witch is at loose” serves as the idiom to express this vulnerability to unhappy happenings, as well as the need for someone to blame – the witch is the culprit whenever there is a series of unfortunate events.

In my younger years, I kept establishing deadlines for it to end, as if I could control the “unlucky streak”. A new week, new month and new year can be especially helpful as wishful game-changers.

I would also wallow more in self-pity and anger. The fact that other people’s lives were not as affected as mine seemed unfair, a personal vendetta from an unknown enemy against me.

In time, I learned that was very self-centered and untrue. I wasn’t singled out by the Universe to suffer. At the same time, we tend to hear that people in Africa are suffering more and, somehow, we should be ashamed for being sad for whatever reason – except for a loss or “serious” disease (are there funny ones?). Also not a wonderful strategy, as we should be allowed to feel and suffer as we un-please, through our own unique and very personal challenges. Nobody else inhabits our skin. And that doesn’t erase our empathy for others.

Fighting it seems to be mostly unproductive, in my experience. More helpful mechanisms such as learning to navigate, be more fluid – the maritime metaphors linger, easy breezy for this sea lover – and keep things moving has proved more effective. It’s like riptide. If you desperately try to swim against it, you drown. If you move with it and slowly find the long way around it, you’ll get out. Wet and shaken, but out. The hard part is not falling into despair while being dragged.

I also know a tiny bit better how it works now. Calendar rules do not apply and the ferris wheel – or rollercoaster – only changes to upward, well… when it does.

But it very often does change. That’s one thing I’ve learned. The impermanence of life and its moments. That means bad times too shall pass. And I come out of it. Sometimes wounded, sometimes stronger. But in calmer waters.

Like I mentioned, I stopped asking why. Learning lessons tend to call for a retake if the grade is not a passing one… but I am not sure that is the goal, it just makes sense to me that way. Although, many times, it’s hard to spot any lesson to learn at all, except for finding balance between action and patience.

If your rough patch overextends, or overstays, hang in there and know it will end. Deal with it in the best way possible to you, until it smooths out. I know, I know, easier written than done.

Last tip, forget the witch. No need to blame anyone. She has her own problems, if she was in witch jail and not enjoying her freedom, the whole time when things were smooth sailing.

Sailboat at sunset

Thank you for reading.


Mindful Communication

In many interactions, especially in the social media universe where our potentially anonymous state secures distance and our faces are usually restricted to a tiny thumbnail, people seem constantly tempted to voice their opinion at all costs. Yes, freedom of speech is a pillar of democracy and must be encouraged and protected. However, I am not talking about the what, but the how. The delivery.

Why is it important to make your words louder and stronger than someone else’s feelings? Why don’t we express our truth in a more mindful way?

Mindful listening is one of the topics I bring up in my Mindful Photography course. Because I believe mindfulness is a lifestyle where all activities intertwine and converge to the same outcome: a state of awareness and gratitude, with large spoonfuls of empathy. When you listen (or read) mindfully, you truly wait for the person to finish their thoughts. You look at the big picture and let go of the habitual need to jump the gun and judge, or elaborate a quick rebuttal. Many times, doing so while the speaker is still talking. We listen and prepare the answer at the same time, as if we were in a time constrained political debate on TV. And even worse, the reply many times is far from kind.

When we voice an opinion at all costs, we forget empathy. Compassion. The ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, or their entire outfit. By quickly judging a situation, we dismiss the possibility that we are all different. We are all unique and have different walks of life, experiences and what one person considers easy, another may see as challenging.

I also talk about the fragility of labels in the course. For example, a photo of a “beautiful” lily may convey joy to someone who remembers the time when they got a bouquet for their birthday. On the other hand, better yet, in the other person, the sight of the same lily can trigger sad feelings by reminding them of a loved one’s funeral. We are multi-faceted, dimensional, complex. Interestingly diverse.

Therefore, why not work on not making our communication flat, dull, stagnant or rough? Give your opinion, express your views, different as they may be. But if it needs to be delivered with ruthlessness, maybe it isn’t such a strong point after all. An opinion given without empathy is, indeed, just judgement. And judgment tends to create gaps between people who could otherwise be meeting in the middle of a bridge to enjoy the beautiful scenery.

Mindfulness · Mixed · Photography

Can an Old Tog Learn New Tricks?

Yes! Woof!

We are always learning in this tog’s life. Not only with new technologies, gear models, but with the subjects themselves.

Last night, I was insomniac and reached out for my phone. A notification with a message and a question from someone wanting to buy one of my pelican images. They wanted to know what type of pelican it was. Most clients are happy with my pelicans just to frame and hang in their homes or offices – even an RV owner thanked me once for one of my pelican images, now framed and traveling around with them. That makes me so happy. This time though, more info was asked before purchase, and I knew it was a brown pelican very common here in the Florida Suncoast. She wanted to know if it was the same type on her Pacific coast, so a quick browse informed me that apparently they are not exactly the same kind on both coasts, a few differences were noted.

Good to know, as my high-schooler is working on a Marine Sciences project about pelicans. I love photographing pelicans (those times when the word shooting is ambiguous so I use photographing) and that inspired him to choose them over crustaceans. As the good young man I raise, he asked his teacher if he could use my images in the project, but he wants him to make his own images, which is great. Except for the note he puts in the end that all projects will eventually belong to him. Copyrights seminar in order? Anyway, this will make for a wonderful mom and son session.

As Photographers, each subject becomes an opportunity for a learning lesson. That relentless thirst for knowledge that my photog Dad has passed on to me is something I so love about my line of work. The chance to grow as a human being is always behind the lens.

Off we went to chase the images. Even a dolphin showed up, but just before I could set my shutter speed to keep up with the restless Flipper. Blur happens.

Most of all, I loved lending my camera to my son and watching him click the big birds. I saw his curiosity, his eye developing right in front of my very own. Seeing him getting interested in what I do, and my father before me, was rewarding. My husband was chasing his images too with a smartphone and now wants a camera. My nephew is a videographer, I remember my sister turning one of the bathrooms into a dark room. The shutterbug is alive and well in this family, highly contagious. A different bug, one that makes us feel healthy and alive, connected with life, aware and in tune with Mommy Nature.

Mindfulness · Mixed · Photography

The Aging Tog

Photography most times requires a certain amount of stamina. Strength, really. Outdoors especially. My usual list includes carrying the camera, lenses, a tripod or a monopod, aka my second best inanimate friend – camera is the first. Add sunscreen and water (Floridian here, I dehydrate just by spending 5 minutes in the garage).

A large backpack or my sweet and small NatGeo bag, depending on the photoshoot. But I also must confess something terrible…

…sometimes I wear a fanny pack. The horror!

*closing my eyes and lowering my head in deep shame.*

To my defense, I am a 1980s teen. Best of all, they leave me hands-free, while making sure I don’t lose my extra SD cards, driver’s license, car keys. I know, still an immense fashion faux-pas… but comfort over style sometimes wins. I do not wear high heels either. There, said it.

Back to the struggles. We photographers walk a lot. Chasing a bird or looking for a special spot, a unique moment to click and make the unparalleled image, which will rise above the snapshot category and make the professional certificate on the wall meaningful. Even in studio, it can all be physically tiring. Well, for this 80s teen here, it has been.

This year has been quite difficult. I have been struggling with many health issues that decided to bombard my daily existence. I feel older than I am. I feel… unwell. Yet, I feel guilty and try to make sure to voice my gratitude because whatever I have, it didn’t show something serious as in tumor, for instance. On my birthday in February, I got the lab results saying that I was menopausal. Can hot flashes light 51 birthday candles?

I have seen nine different types of health specialists this year. Four MRIs, blood drawn enough to feed Dracula’s family on Thanksgiving. I have a frozen shoulder. Bad and painful for anyone, but for a Photographer it can be quite limiting. I have a large herniated disc in the neck, polyps were removed on colonoscopy, vertigo (my sister calls it the Exorcist eyes, read on BPPV and you’ll understand), cysts on breasts and ovaries, aches and pains galore, sinus issues, tinnitus, hearing loss, and the freakiest of all, the weird numbness on my face that no doctor has explained so far. I seriously feel like an 80 year-old body is carrying my 51 year-old mind. Just take a look at my pill box, now upgraded to a times-of-day slots model. I feel like a worn out backpack bought only last month. It all happened at once. Have I sounded like a hypochondriac yet?

Well, to make it funner, I have had health anxiety my whole life. Childhood trauma caused by my mom’s aggressive cancer and death at 48. And that is a problem on its own, with a cascade effect. Most people, including some doctors, tend to think it is always the anxiety talking, instead of real illness. The stigma sticks more than Gorilla glue. And I understand they have reasons to think that way. I gave them those reasons. I worried about nothing, many times, I couldn’t help it. And when you cry wolf, even if not on purpose, you are alone when the wolf actually comes. “You are not sick “; “It’s all stress related”; “Stop going to so many doctors”. Mmmk, I’ll just suffer all these pains and discomforts, self-diagnose with stress and cease to try and find help. Sounds like a plan!

I have studied mindfulness meditation, got a certificate from UCF and a coach. I know the great power of stress in aggravating issues, even causing many. But I also know sometimes we get sick, no matter what. Proof of that is this all happened at a time in my life where I was in a really good place, not stressed. Just days before all major symptoms began, I was sipping piña colada and getting caught in the rain, on the Fourth of July. Photo proof:

Pina colada at cloudy Clearwater Beach, Florida.
Yes, we took shelter after my son took this pic. Except for my husband. He is a heathen. Clearwater Beach, Florida.

Another point is that, throughout this ordeal, I have been calmer and made quite good progress in terms of mental health. Not on antidepressants anymore. No anxiety attacks. Anxiety pills actually moved out of my nightstand to my medicine cabinet, “as needed” has not been needed. Done with therapy. Learned acceptance. Found the patience to be a patient. Funny, huh? When I really needed good mental health for real body health issues, I managed it.

Still, all that is affecting my daily life, and my work. Maybe it will all improve dramatically, or maybe it is the beginning of a different time in my life when I have to accept pain and limitations. My new doctor said, when asked why it all happened so suddenly, “sorry to say, but aging can happen that way.”

Bam! Ouch! And all the onomatopoeia and curse words available to express my dissatisfaction. I am only f*@#$g 51! I am not supposed to age before 80! Well, I am spoiled to have a 93 year-old that who still sails, but it doesn’t always work that way, does it?

I know I am going to keep fighting this stuff because my love only gets stronger. Love for my family grows like a mighty oak tree, via appreciation and communication. My son is my sunshine, my husband is a true partner. They both make even the dark days filled with natural light. A Photographer needs good light, so does the person. I am blessed with a whole family of amazing individuals, both near and far. Self-love has also been on an all-time high here, I need myself more than ever for compassionate self-care. Love for others, wrapped in empathy and non-judgmental practice. Love for my work, my Photography. I had to adapt, slow down, tell clients I won’t be doing certain types of shoot anymore. In a way, I set myself free to do the kind of Photography I truly love. And that is luck many don’t have, I am thankful for having amazing support, to be able to say that I love my job and perform it as I can. It’s a spirits-lifting gift.

heart in shape of ballon

Love does save the day. More like the year. The lifetime, actually.



Mindfulness · Mixed · Photography

The First Post May Not Be The Deepest

Hi, there! This is my first post on my new blog. Naturally, I will be talking mostly about Photography, my work, my images, Mindfulness, the courses I offer. However, every now and then my posts will digress… After all, I was a writer before becoming a Professional Photographer, and we are all multifaceted human beings with plenty to share. I am a 51 year-old Generation X woman who has seen, heard, read, experienced and felt quite a bit.

I see blogs as public diaries. I still remember my first one. My mom was a teacher and I started writing and reading on adult level at age 7 in Portuguese; soon to follow English. She gifted me with this beautiful pink diary that had a little heart-shaped lock and a mini key. I felt like that was a little treasure where I could put all my childhood thoughts and feelings. It was private, safe and beautiful. Well, not that private… I am pretty sure she read my stuff and that gift was also a smart way to check on me. That’s ok, I became a mom too and I know we worry by nature. People talk about kids’ privacy, but I am a firm believer in kids’ safety and well being first. So a little espionage well conducted is forgiven.

Blogging is very different. This is journaling for the outer world to read excerpts from my inner world. Even though right now, in this very beginning, “world” means pretty much my family and friends who are supportive and graceful enough to give me some of their reading time. My husband is a great source of support and he has a new blog too, check out beginkevin.com. He is a funny guy blogging about his opinions, experiences and giving his humorous take on all sorts of subjects.

Unfortunately, Mom is not one of these familiar readers, as she left this world way too soon, just a couple of years after that day when she gave me the diary. But rest assured, Mom, your purpose was achieved. I just do it now in a more technological way: the pink cover is my pink computer background, the heart-shaped lock and mini key are just a pin on a keyboard. Not nearly as pretty and whimsical, but effective nonetheless. The spirit is still there.

Hopefully this blog will grow to a more diversified audience that may benefit from some of my traveling words…

Well, it already is if you reached this last paragraph. Thank you for stopping by. I truly appreciate your visit.